These are some quotes I came across on the "Laissze-Faire" blog, as well as from Melanie Morgan. These are more ridiculous than any Bushism. Check out the outstanding stupidity of these people...
“It is a decision of the Supreme Court. So this is almost as if God has spoken.”
– Nancy Pelosi reacting to the Supreme Court’s decision on “eminent domain”
“It makes it very difficult to quit smoking under this administration.”
— Actor Sean Penn, blaming President Bush for his smoking habit
“You think everyone over there is a college graduate? They’re 19 and 20-year-old kids who couldn’t get a job… You know, the soldiers are not scholars, they’re not war experts… They’re not the best people to ask about the war because they’re gonna die any second.”
— Actor Richard Belzer, showing his “support” for our troops
"American presence in Iraq is more dangerous to world peace than nuclear threats from North Korea or Iran. "
– Rep. John Murtha, D-Pa., to an audience of more than 200 in North Miami
“We know that no one person can succeed unless everybody else succeeds.”
– Howard Dean
“I couldn’t be happier for the privilege of sitting down with the president of Iran.”
– CBS’s Mike Wallace to Mahmud Ahmadi-Nejad
“Radical Christianity is just as threatening as radical Islam in a country like America.”
- Rosie O’Donnell
“Don’t fear the terrorists. They’re mothers and fathers.”
– Rosie O’Donnell
“I wrote this book [’What a Party’] to remind people what the Clinton administration meant to us and the world. [The Clinton years showed how to] restore moral authority.”
– Terry McAuliffe
“We pay the soldiers a decent wage, take care of their families, provide them with housing and medical care and vast social support systems and ship obscene amenities into the war zone for them, we support them in every possible way, and their attitude is that we should in addition roll over and play dead, defer to the military and the generals and let them fight their war, and give up our rights and responsibilities to speak up because they are above society?… [It] is just an ugly reminder of the price we pay for a mercenary—oops sorry, volunteer—force that thinks it is doing the dirty work.”
— Washington Post and NBC “military analyst” William Arkin
“A Zebra Doesn’t Change It’s Spots”
-Al Gore
“Nobody is suffering more than the Palestinian people”
– Barack Obama said while on the final leg of his weekend trip to eastern Iowa
"Congressman Murtha has enjoys an excellent reputation in the Congress on both sides of the aisle.”
– Speaker Nancy Pelosi
“During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet”
-Al Gore
"I've now been in 57 states – I think one left to go."
-Barack Obama
"If you want change, you want the Democrat Party. Barack Obama was a community organizer like Jesus, who our minister just prayed about. Pontius Pilate was a governor."
-Steve Cohen
"It was an unidentified flying object, OK? It's, like, it's unidentified."
-Dennis Kucinich on seeing a UFO
"This is the greatest country on Earth. Help me to change it!"
-Barack Obama
"Hillary would have made a better Vice President than me."
-Joe Biden
Yep, folks. These are the mental midgets running our country. And they called Bush an idiot...
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Hilarious Political Cartoons from Austrailia
Check out this link! These are the funniest (and truest) cartoons I've ever seen! The Austrailians have a better grip on American politics than most Americans.
http://usa-wethepeople.com/australian-cartoonsnever-seen-in-america/
Monday, January 19, 2009
Change, What Change?
Conservatives please leave the room. Thank You. Turn off the lights. Close the door. Start the projector. Let me take you to a land where change is yours for the asking. Isn't is beautiful! Can't you see the Mountains as they burst forth the with the levening of dreams that come true. Close you eyes and take in the nebulize aroma of promises of a better world. Now ask yourself what change do "You" would want, let yourself go as we take you to a place where all your dreams do come true. Don't worrry about the consequences -there are none. Money? We've got plenty! Enough love to go around for us (Liberals) ? You jest. What's the name of this wonderful land where all this can happen? Nom - Me - Nuee Land. You can be there when I am in office. I will give you all your hearts desires. It is yours for the taking!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't think just vote and I will take care of the rest. ARE YOU WITH ME? I SAID ARE YOU WITH ME? I CAN'T HERE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU! CAN YOU SAY AMEN? CAN YOU SAY AMENNNNNA? AMEM BROTHER AND SISTERS! ALL WILL BE OK!
Now open your eyes and let your bordened souls dwell on me. I am the truth and the answer to your problems.
Lights please. As you leave please get a bumper sticker and leave a little something in the hat for
the cause. Remember we are the world. THE CROWD LEAVES ONE BY ONE - HAND IN HAND, SINGING PRAISES TO OBAMA - ALL IS WELL!
Now open your eyes and let your bordened souls dwell on me. I am the truth and the answer to your problems.
Lights please. As you leave please get a bumper sticker and leave a little something in the hat for
the cause. Remember we are the world. THE CROWD LEAVES ONE BY ONE - HAND IN HAND, SINGING PRAISES TO OBAMA - ALL IS WELL!
Pardon
Well, Thank You President Bush!
This was the best news we have had in a while. President Bush has pardoned the sentences for the two border patrol agents who got railroaded by the Courts. I wish the two men and their families all the best and I hope they can now move on and enjoy their lives.
Thanks again President Bush!!!!!!!!!!!
This was the best news we have had in a while. President Bush has pardoned the sentences for the two border patrol agents who got railroaded by the Courts. I wish the two men and their families all the best and I hope they can now move on and enjoy their lives.
Thanks again President Bush!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
STUPID THINGS PEOPLE DO
The title is not as precise as I would it it so I will expand on it. Stupid things that people do either because of ignorance - bad upbringing - lack of sensitivity - or they just don't give a hoot what you or anyone else thinks. They don't even like themselves that much either or they would think twice before acting out their disgusting and sometimes dangerous ways! Some are just disgusting while others cause destruction to themselves and a multitude that are living in the same world they we are living in.
- Leaving your chewing gum under a table
- Leaving behind the trash that you could have discarded
- Cutting in line
- Flipping the bird - now really
- Making fun of others - Shameful!
- Getting in an express line with a basket full and way over the limit
- Loudly carrying on a conversation while on your cell phone in public
- Cursing in public
- Getting in a loud argument with your kids while in public
- Looking down on others
- Laughing at God
- Slamming the car door
- Walking into a house with muddy shoes
- Spitting out the window of the car
- Slamming your brakes to get someone off your tail
- Starting or participating in an argument while on the road
- Flopping yourself down next to someone as to cause a disturbance - RUDE
- Playing your music so loud as to annoy others
- Talking on a cell phone in a theatre
- Failing to control your bodily functions while in public
- Making annoying sounds
- Staring at others
- Speaking in a foreign language different from the norm in an elevator full of people
- Putting on makeup while driving
- Going out in public in your pajamas
- Walking into someone without excusing yourself
- Driving in the fast lane going slower than the speed limit
- Popping your pimples in public
- Walking out of the house looking like a slob
- Having a tattoo placed anywhere on your body
- Throwing your trash on the ground
- Wearing outrageous attire simply for the reason of causing a scene
- Fat people exposing their blubber in public
- Letting your children talk back to you
- Cursing at your employees
- Voting without thinking first!
- Letting your emotions get the best of you
- Failure to come to grips with your problems
- Going through life thinking someone owes you a living
- Ignoring your potential to excel
- Thinking you are better than everybody else
- Waiting too long to make the right decisions
- Forgetting to thank God for his mercy
- Living with experiencing success
- Getting in a fight without proper training
- Underestimating your opponent
- Failure to take a risk
- Living beyond your means
- Neglecting your family
- Thinking you are always right
- Thinking you are always wrong
- Judging a person until you know the facts
- Painting without a drop cloth
- Living without a safety net
- Ignoring the obvious
- Letting your kids walk all over you
- Pushing yourself on others
- Be a bully
- Cheating on a test
- Lying to your parents
- Assuming your parents are dumber than poot
- Participating in drugs
- Drinking too much
- Wishing your troubles would go away and doing nothing to make it happen
- Thinking you are worthless
- Abandoning a child
- Having an abortion
- Failing to acknowledge abortion is "killing another human being"
- Never having an original thought
- Spending more than you have
- Letting people walk all over you
- Not exercising
- Overeating
- Exposing your filthy mind to others
- Forgetting your the parent
- Letting kids have too much voice in the way they are raised
- Schools abandoning dress codes
- Trying to please everybody
- Parents letting their kids dress like whores, hoodlums, gangsters, drug addicts, degenerates and sociopaths
- Failure of the grownups to control violence in school
- Parents failing to grow up
- Not fighting back against evil
- Allowing your kids to control you
- Giving your kid too much
- Failure to teach your kid the value of respect
- Thinking you can't make a difference
- Wearing clothes that are skin tight and two sizes too small
- Being obnoxious in public
- Speaking in anger
- Not knowing when to quit
- Overstaying your welcome
Friday, January 16, 2009
THESE Are Obama's Supporters!
A picture is worth a thousand words. 15 mugshots of criminals wearing Obama shirts: Priceless.
Looking for Justice
Looking for Justice
The liberal looney tune justice system looked at the case of two hard working Border Patrol agents and decided they should be in prison. These men are (were) on the battle line everyday fighting to keep this country free of varmints smuggling drugs across our borders so as to prevent the destruction they cause to our society, and "daily" they had to confront the flow of "Illegal" imargrants from trying to enter our country while devastatingly contributing to the destruction of our economy and adding profoundly to the moral decline of America. During one of their routine days of service they comforted a mexican drug smuggler and to make a long story short, shot him in the butt as he tried to escape. This scum bag was not only a drugh smuggler but a coyote to boot. Trafficing in human cargo and illegal drugs was enough in my book of crimes to "at least" shoot the SOB in the ass. I bet the officers have secretly wished he hadn't survived because he eventually found his way to the Mexican Government, whom I have no respect for, and they in turn put pressure on our Government to file charges against these courageous men. We've all heard the story many times and the vast majority of Americans are appalled at the punishment that was given to them for protecting us. The minority demanding their heads were the illegalls and their sympathizers and they won the hearts of the Justice System and got their way. How many times have we uttered the words, "What in the Hell has happened to our Justice System?". It's almost surreal how screwed up this country is. I for one am so ashamed and just plain fed-up with this backward injustice. It is a wonder we stop any crimes at our borders.
Good People of America we have been infiltrated by our enemies and they are in our courts prophesizing as Judges claiming to uphold the law and they along with the lawyers and politians are working desperately to tear this country down from the inside out.
I do think President George W. Bush is an Honorable man and I would like to see him prove this to the Citizens of the United States of America and to the World by pardoning the illegal sentences handed down to these two Border Patrol Agents and let them and their families get on with their lives. I would probably be asking too much to demand a victory parade in their honor but if I had the money I would most definitely give them one.
President Bush we are looking to you for "JUSTICE"
The liberal looney tune justice system looked at the case of two hard working Border Patrol agents and decided they should be in prison. These men are (were) on the battle line everyday fighting to keep this country free of varmints smuggling drugs across our borders so as to prevent the destruction they cause to our society, and "daily" they had to confront the flow of "Illegal" imargrants from trying to enter our country while devastatingly contributing to the destruction of our economy and adding profoundly to the moral decline of America. During one of their routine days of service they comforted a mexican drug smuggler and to make a long story short, shot him in the butt as he tried to escape. This scum bag was not only a drugh smuggler but a coyote to boot. Trafficing in human cargo and illegal drugs was enough in my book of crimes to "at least" shoot the SOB in the ass. I bet the officers have secretly wished he hadn't survived because he eventually found his way to the Mexican Government, whom I have no respect for, and they in turn put pressure on our Government to file charges against these courageous men. We've all heard the story many times and the vast majority of Americans are appalled at the punishment that was given to them for protecting us. The minority demanding their heads were the illegalls and their sympathizers and they won the hearts of the Justice System and got their way. How many times have we uttered the words, "What in the Hell has happened to our Justice System?". It's almost surreal how screwed up this country is. I for one am so ashamed and just plain fed-up with this backward injustice. It is a wonder we stop any crimes at our borders.
Good People of America we have been infiltrated by our enemies and they are in our courts prophesizing as Judges claiming to uphold the law and they along with the lawyers and politians are working desperately to tear this country down from the inside out.
I do think President George W. Bush is an Honorable man and I would like to see him prove this to the Citizens of the United States of America and to the World by pardoning the illegal sentences handed down to these two Border Patrol Agents and let them and their families get on with their lives. I would probably be asking too much to demand a victory parade in their honor but if I had the money I would most definitely give them one.
President Bush we are looking to you for "JUSTICE"
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Secret Land of Losers
Secret land of Losers
Well today I woke up renewed and focused. I got up earlier than usual due to being aroused
from my long awaited deliverance from my extended stay in Nom – Me – Nuee Land. A place where
ignorance is bliss and the crazies run the farm. Such sights as the male species is hurriedly running
around burying their nuts because here on this tranquil – submissive - chimera their need for them is as
worthless as tits on a boar hog. Following close by in a giddy state of euphoria is the antipodal
counterpart exfoliating morality and decency as they skip and twirl to the song “We are the World.” “Oh
My, is right.” It seems I have been on this funny farm for quite a while. Obviously a drug induced state of
mind I assure you. There wasn’t a long goodbye ceremony although the tears of fear from the remaining
inhabitants were menstruating like crazy. As I left they pleaded “Please don’t tell them where we are.”
Well as I passed through the portal into reality I looked back and with an unbridled release of passion I
screamed back “I’m telling the world you morons!!!”And off I ran. Where do I go from here, you ask? As
far away from the crazies as I can get.
Living is believing you can make a difference. In the real world the air is fresher – the grass is
greener – your thoughts are clearer and the resolve for reestablishing sanity to the multitudes is
paramount. The land of Nom – Me – Nuee is a vastly populated land where insanity runs amuck and it’s
growing like a stink weed. Escape is possible as long as you never give up hope.
Well it seems we are back to that elusive inherent characteristic that only the true believers
attain through belief in a power greater than themselves. Hope! Change is surely coming but it’s not what the
captors of crazyville aspire to. I will seek to open the flood gates of the eccentric dungeons to free the
people kept captive by an idealistic lie that has neutered the weak minded and hapless populace of
“Nom – Me – Nuee.” This will not be easy due to the fact that most of these crazies don’t want to be
freed. They have been institutionalized for so long that they feel safe within the boundaries constructed
for them. Their – “will” - to be individuals have been eroded and their constitution with respect to
common sense and morality has long been swept away as to protect them from themselves. Scary but
true! The problem and task at hand is to educate the masses and let them know that it’s
Ok to be hated by the Hollywood Elites and it’s a good thing to be a Christian, and it’s more than hunky
dory to hate your enemy and yes,” Kill them” and morals is a good thing not a bad thing that is out dated.
Standing and saluting the flag isn’t to be scorned but applauded, rejecting homosexuality and perversion
builds strength in your character not the opposite. They need to know that to stand for everything
makes them weak and drawing the line in the sand and making a stand to fight for moral and ethical
values builds strength of character. This is going to be tough – getting people to come back to their
natural order of survival. They have been gone so long. I just know that I can’t sit this battle out and
expect that things will turn out OK. I’ve set too many out and look what happened. Every day we fail to
hold the incompetent men and women running this country accountable we get deeper and deeper in
the quagmire that puts us in precarious situations that get harder and harder to get out of. But we will
fight and we will win back this nation and once again God will be our corner stone from where we get
our toughness, strength and fortitude that leads us to moral, ethical, virtuous , righteous and noble lives.
Well today I woke up renewed and focused. I got up earlier than usual due to being aroused
from my long awaited deliverance from my extended stay in Nom – Me – Nuee Land. A place where
ignorance is bliss and the crazies run the farm. Such sights as the male species is hurriedly running
around burying their nuts because here on this tranquil – submissive - chimera their need for them is as
worthless as tits on a boar hog. Following close by in a giddy state of euphoria is the antipodal
counterpart exfoliating morality and decency as they skip and twirl to the song “We are the World.” “Oh
My, is right.” It seems I have been on this funny farm for quite a while. Obviously a drug induced state of
mind I assure you. There wasn’t a long goodbye ceremony although the tears of fear from the remaining
inhabitants were menstruating like crazy. As I left they pleaded “Please don’t tell them where we are.”
Well as I passed through the portal into reality I looked back and with an unbridled release of passion I
screamed back “I’m telling the world you morons!!!”And off I ran. Where do I go from here, you ask? As
far away from the crazies as I can get.
Living is believing you can make a difference. In the real world the air is fresher – the grass is
greener – your thoughts are clearer and the resolve for reestablishing sanity to the multitudes is
paramount. The land of Nom – Me – Nuee is a vastly populated land where insanity runs amuck and it’s
growing like a stink weed. Escape is possible as long as you never give up hope.
Well it seems we are back to that elusive inherent characteristic that only the true believers
attain through belief in a power greater than themselves. Hope! Change is surely coming but it’s not what the
captors of crazyville aspire to. I will seek to open the flood gates of the eccentric dungeons to free the
people kept captive by an idealistic lie that has neutered the weak minded and hapless populace of
“Nom – Me – Nuee.” This will not be easy due to the fact that most of these crazies don’t want to be
freed. They have been institutionalized for so long that they feel safe within the boundaries constructed
for them. Their – “will” - to be individuals have been eroded and their constitution with respect to
common sense and morality has long been swept away as to protect them from themselves. Scary but
true! The problem and task at hand is to educate the masses and let them know that it’s
Ok to be hated by the Hollywood Elites and it’s a good thing to be a Christian, and it’s more than hunky
dory to hate your enemy and yes,” Kill them” and morals is a good thing not a bad thing that is out dated.
Standing and saluting the flag isn’t to be scorned but applauded, rejecting homosexuality and perversion
builds strength in your character not the opposite. They need to know that to stand for everything
makes them weak and drawing the line in the sand and making a stand to fight for moral and ethical
values builds strength of character. This is going to be tough – getting people to come back to their
natural order of survival. They have been gone so long. I just know that I can’t sit this battle out and
expect that things will turn out OK. I’ve set too many out and look what happened. Every day we fail to
hold the incompetent men and women running this country accountable we get deeper and deeper in
the quagmire that puts us in precarious situations that get harder and harder to get out of. But we will
fight and we will win back this nation and once again God will be our corner stone from where we get
our toughness, strength and fortitude that leads us to moral, ethical, virtuous , righteous and noble lives.
Life is like a box of chocolates
“LIFE IS LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOCATES – YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GONNA GET”
Boy, can we all relate to those simple yet mind provoking words spoken by the ever so lovable character of Forest Gump. Within the steely depths of that statement grows a piercing reminder of the capriciousness of life. Since those words I have forced myself to escape the generalization of my present, sometimes quotidian, existence to drift along down the dusty trail called “What If”. The farther I forge ahead the metamorphosis of my journey through life becomes more defined.
There are some things we can change and then there are those unexpected mishaps thrown at us, good and bad. Without them living would be quite boring. If you’re lucky the good will overcome the bad in a grand and significant way so as to offer your carnal being an E-Ticket ride through this time you have here on Earth bringing you joy, inner strength, and peace. Do not be confused as to the genesis of a single meaning of a word, being just that what it appears, nor stay focused on the shell that it presents. My Grandson taught me that on the flipside of the word bad there explodes a totally different meaning. Bad can now be “good”, “awesome” or during my era “far out dude”. There are hidden meanings in all words. To get to the core of a concealed word or thought you must let your inner self take the helm. Allow yourself to “travel where no man has traveled before”. Sorry, but I couldn’t resist inserting those quotes from my man – Captain James Kirk of the US Enterprise – but to tell you the truth many have traveled down that path of mystique and enlightenment. My point is that sometimes bad can be good. There were times in my life where the worst thing in life turned out to be the best lesson of all. It is a phenomenon I know but the marvel of the inverted outcome was unexpected and truly a blessing.
Now what I would like you to do is take a stroll with me back to the past. I know the road I took and the experiences I had will not be the same as yours but there will be obstacles, disappointment, heartache and despair just as I have endured. So bear with me for the journey will not be in vain for there is much to be accomplished by this. I will be your gracious and hopefully informative guide escorting you to the days where my life, along with thousands more like me, took a detour off the path where very little moss had gathered on our armor thus far to taking us to a nightmare that lingers to this day. As you go with me we will be taking several breaks along the way so you can reflect to your own experiences. We all have a past and there are many lessons to be learned by paying it a visit. The purpose of this journey is to learn how to deal with it and grow past the damage it may have caused so as to grow stronger, healthier and wiser. Your Wellness hinges on how you deal with a bad hand that has been dealt to you. Here is where the journey begins so gather your thoughts and courage and follow me. This will be a walking tour and you can exit whenever you fill the need to reflect or just take a breather.
As a boy growing up in a paradigm life style of normalcy in suburban America, which began in the late forties, I was far removed from the violence that would engulf me later in life. From the days of football – school – and family outings where my problems were condensed to getting rid of my pimples so I could attract the girls came the struggle for the mere survival of the breathe of life. “Literally” Enrollment into the U S Army in the sixties changed every aspect of my life. My “Well-being” was up against a force that took my breath away and stopped my heart from beating the rhythm is was accustomed to. My story is not mine alone but a time where thousands of soldiers like me were faced with the flipside of the comfort zone. As you know the 60’s were saddled with the infamous Vietnam War. The experience took its’ toll on the bodies and minds of many young men and women. Not only did we find ourselves faced with the reality of death but for those of us that came back alive we live every day with its carnage. There was another albatross that some of us inherited that others escaped and this would leave a lingering effect on our bodies for the rest of our lives.
Our government, in good faith I believe, made an ill-fated decision to use a chemical with the aspirations of helping the troops on the ground and thus Agent Orange for born. Agent Orange was the code name for a herbicide developed for the military, primarily for use in tropical climates. Although the genesis of the product goes back to the 1940’s, serious testing for military applications did not begin until the early 1960’s.
The purpose of the product was to deny an enemy cover and concealment in dense terrain by defoliating trees and shrubbery where the enemy could hide. The product “Agent Orange” (a code name for the orange band that was used to mark the drums it was stored in, was principally effective against broad-leaf foliage, such as the dense jungle-like terrain found in Southeast Asia.
The product was tested in Vietnam in the early 1960’s and brought into ever widening use during the height of the war (1967-68), though it’s use was diminished and eventually discontinued in 1971.
Agent Orange was a 50-50 mix of two chemicals, known conventionally as 2,4,D and 2,4,5,T. The combined product was mixed with kerosene or diesel fuel and dispersed by aircraft, vehicle, and hand spraying. An estimated 19 million gallons of Agent Orange were used in South Vietnam during the war.
The earliest health concerns about Agent Orange were the product’s contamination with TCDD, or dioxin. TCDD is one of a family of dioxins, some found in nature, and are cousins of the dibenzofurans and pcb’s.
The TCDD found in Agent Orange is thought to be harmful to man. In laboratory tests on animals, TCDD has caused a wide variety of diseases, many of them fatal. TCDD is not found in nature, but rather is a man-made and always unwanted byproduct of the chemical manufacturing process. The Agent Orange used in Vietnam was later found to be extremely contaminated with TCDD.
As soldiers returning from our tour we struggled to put our lives back on track. With man’s valued friend “Time” healing took place and scars scabbed over but the effects of Agent Orange would grow in physical ailments that were even passed down to our children. As time elapsed the symptoms appeared in various forms. Personally I was eventually diagnosed as having Multiple Sclerosis which after a second opinion changed to “Agent Orange” which grew to become a condition and not just a chemical. I learned that there is very little difference to distinguish between the two. The number of diseases that the VA has recognized as associated with Agent Orange exposure has expanded considerably during the 1990’s. The following conditions are recognized for service-connection for these veterans: Chloracne (a skin disorder), porphyria cutanea tarda, acute or subacute peripheral neuropathy (a nerve disorder), type 2 diabetes, and numerous cancers. The VA is in the process of adding chronic lymphocytic leukemia to this list. In addition, Vietnam veterans’ children are susceptible to certain defects and diseases. My youngest daughter is one of those children that are experiencing symptoms. Over the years you deal with it and find a way to minimize its existence or it will take you captive. I took the approach of overcoming this dreadful invasion of my body as I accepted the premise of its reality. Before the word “wellness” was inserted in my language I was aware that I needed to fight back. I have learned that a regular physical regime, healthy diet and mental and emotional battle are my best defense in overcoming its devastation. Spiritual wellness has been my sword to lead the fight toward healing and without it the aforementioned soldiers would eventually be overcome with awe. Time used effectively becomes the porthole to healing.
The longer we live the more the words, again quoting Forest Gump, “Shit Happens” gains credence. How we deal with that that which we cannot change becomes our destiny.
Let’s stop here for a while to take this time to look back to where we have been and what unexpected events have given you a setback. Ask yourself – Have I come to grips with its realization? – How have I dealt with it and is my approach working? Without the six dimensions of Wellness firmly in place, it is hard to overcome adversity. The six dimensions found in the book “Core Concepts in Health” are physical wellness, emotion wellness, intellectual wellness, spiritual wellness, interpersonal and social wellness and environmental or planetary wellness. Read it – Study It – Live It. Remember that problems don’t go away with abandonment. They must be confronted head on. We do not always have the freedom of choosing the road we wish to travel and the luggage we take with us but we do have the choice of how to deal with the problems we had along the way.
Keep in mind that Mental Health is a vital part of the survival mechanism. So stay focused and make the right choices.
I have enjoyed being your guide and I sincerely hope that you have enjoyed the journey so far.
You can continue on the journey whenever you’re ready and I am sure you will have a lot of questions and concerns that will require a more knowledgeable person than me to fill in the blanks, so I am going to turn over the rest of the tour to someone that has all the answers. God is waiting to lead you on so let him know when you are ready. It’s been my pleasure sharing this with you.
God’s Speed!
Reference: VFW MO Post 5517- Agent Orange
The Official Web-Site for Agent Orange www.agent-orange
www.lewispublishing.com/orange.htm
VFW Mo Post 5517-Agent Orange
Core Concepts in Health
The desk of Tommy Cook (Vietnam Veteran – US Army Fourth Infantry Division - 1969- 1970 and Survivor of Agent Orange Exposure).
Boy, can we all relate to those simple yet mind provoking words spoken by the ever so lovable character of Forest Gump. Within the steely depths of that statement grows a piercing reminder of the capriciousness of life. Since those words I have forced myself to escape the generalization of my present, sometimes quotidian, existence to drift along down the dusty trail called “What If”. The farther I forge ahead the metamorphosis of my journey through life becomes more defined.
There are some things we can change and then there are those unexpected mishaps thrown at us, good and bad. Without them living would be quite boring. If you’re lucky the good will overcome the bad in a grand and significant way so as to offer your carnal being an E-Ticket ride through this time you have here on Earth bringing you joy, inner strength, and peace. Do not be confused as to the genesis of a single meaning of a word, being just that what it appears, nor stay focused on the shell that it presents. My Grandson taught me that on the flipside of the word bad there explodes a totally different meaning. Bad can now be “good”, “awesome” or during my era “far out dude”. There are hidden meanings in all words. To get to the core of a concealed word or thought you must let your inner self take the helm. Allow yourself to “travel where no man has traveled before”. Sorry, but I couldn’t resist inserting those quotes from my man – Captain James Kirk of the US Enterprise – but to tell you the truth many have traveled down that path of mystique and enlightenment. My point is that sometimes bad can be good. There were times in my life where the worst thing in life turned out to be the best lesson of all. It is a phenomenon I know but the marvel of the inverted outcome was unexpected and truly a blessing.
Now what I would like you to do is take a stroll with me back to the past. I know the road I took and the experiences I had will not be the same as yours but there will be obstacles, disappointment, heartache and despair just as I have endured. So bear with me for the journey will not be in vain for there is much to be accomplished by this. I will be your gracious and hopefully informative guide escorting you to the days where my life, along with thousands more like me, took a detour off the path where very little moss had gathered on our armor thus far to taking us to a nightmare that lingers to this day. As you go with me we will be taking several breaks along the way so you can reflect to your own experiences. We all have a past and there are many lessons to be learned by paying it a visit. The purpose of this journey is to learn how to deal with it and grow past the damage it may have caused so as to grow stronger, healthier and wiser. Your Wellness hinges on how you deal with a bad hand that has been dealt to you. Here is where the journey begins so gather your thoughts and courage and follow me. This will be a walking tour and you can exit whenever you fill the need to reflect or just take a breather.
As a boy growing up in a paradigm life style of normalcy in suburban America, which began in the late forties, I was far removed from the violence that would engulf me later in life. From the days of football – school – and family outings where my problems were condensed to getting rid of my pimples so I could attract the girls came the struggle for the mere survival of the breathe of life. “Literally” Enrollment into the U S Army in the sixties changed every aspect of my life. My “Well-being” was up against a force that took my breath away and stopped my heart from beating the rhythm is was accustomed to. My story is not mine alone but a time where thousands of soldiers like me were faced with the flipside of the comfort zone. As you know the 60’s were saddled with the infamous Vietnam War. The experience took its’ toll on the bodies and minds of many young men and women. Not only did we find ourselves faced with the reality of death but for those of us that came back alive we live every day with its carnage. There was another albatross that some of us inherited that others escaped and this would leave a lingering effect on our bodies for the rest of our lives.
Our government, in good faith I believe, made an ill-fated decision to use a chemical with the aspirations of helping the troops on the ground and thus Agent Orange for born. Agent Orange was the code name for a herbicide developed for the military, primarily for use in tropical climates. Although the genesis of the product goes back to the 1940’s, serious testing for military applications did not begin until the early 1960’s.
The purpose of the product was to deny an enemy cover and concealment in dense terrain by defoliating trees and shrubbery where the enemy could hide. The product “Agent Orange” (a code name for the orange band that was used to mark the drums it was stored in, was principally effective against broad-leaf foliage, such as the dense jungle-like terrain found in Southeast Asia.
The product was tested in Vietnam in the early 1960’s and brought into ever widening use during the height of the war (1967-68), though it’s use was diminished and eventually discontinued in 1971.
Agent Orange was a 50-50 mix of two chemicals, known conventionally as 2,4,D and 2,4,5,T. The combined product was mixed with kerosene or diesel fuel and dispersed by aircraft, vehicle, and hand spraying. An estimated 19 million gallons of Agent Orange were used in South Vietnam during the war.
The earliest health concerns about Agent Orange were the product’s contamination with TCDD, or dioxin. TCDD is one of a family of dioxins, some found in nature, and are cousins of the dibenzofurans and pcb’s.
The TCDD found in Agent Orange is thought to be harmful to man. In laboratory tests on animals, TCDD has caused a wide variety of diseases, many of them fatal. TCDD is not found in nature, but rather is a man-made and always unwanted byproduct of the chemical manufacturing process. The Agent Orange used in Vietnam was later found to be extremely contaminated with TCDD.
As soldiers returning from our tour we struggled to put our lives back on track. With man’s valued friend “Time” healing took place and scars scabbed over but the effects of Agent Orange would grow in physical ailments that were even passed down to our children. As time elapsed the symptoms appeared in various forms. Personally I was eventually diagnosed as having Multiple Sclerosis which after a second opinion changed to “Agent Orange” which grew to become a condition and not just a chemical. I learned that there is very little difference to distinguish between the two. The number of diseases that the VA has recognized as associated with Agent Orange exposure has expanded considerably during the 1990’s. The following conditions are recognized for service-connection for these veterans: Chloracne (a skin disorder), porphyria cutanea tarda, acute or subacute peripheral neuropathy (a nerve disorder), type 2 diabetes, and numerous cancers. The VA is in the process of adding chronic lymphocytic leukemia to this list. In addition, Vietnam veterans’ children are susceptible to certain defects and diseases. My youngest daughter is one of those children that are experiencing symptoms. Over the years you deal with it and find a way to minimize its existence or it will take you captive. I took the approach of overcoming this dreadful invasion of my body as I accepted the premise of its reality. Before the word “wellness” was inserted in my language I was aware that I needed to fight back. I have learned that a regular physical regime, healthy diet and mental and emotional battle are my best defense in overcoming its devastation. Spiritual wellness has been my sword to lead the fight toward healing and without it the aforementioned soldiers would eventually be overcome with awe. Time used effectively becomes the porthole to healing.
The longer we live the more the words, again quoting Forest Gump, “Shit Happens” gains credence. How we deal with that that which we cannot change becomes our destiny.
Let’s stop here for a while to take this time to look back to where we have been and what unexpected events have given you a setback. Ask yourself – Have I come to grips with its realization? – How have I dealt with it and is my approach working? Without the six dimensions of Wellness firmly in place, it is hard to overcome adversity. The six dimensions found in the book “Core Concepts in Health” are physical wellness, emotion wellness, intellectual wellness, spiritual wellness, interpersonal and social wellness and environmental or planetary wellness. Read it – Study It – Live It. Remember that problems don’t go away with abandonment. They must be confronted head on. We do not always have the freedom of choosing the road we wish to travel and the luggage we take with us but we do have the choice of how to deal with the problems we had along the way.
Keep in mind that Mental Health is a vital part of the survival mechanism. So stay focused and make the right choices.
I have enjoyed being your guide and I sincerely hope that you have enjoyed the journey so far.
You can continue on the journey whenever you’re ready and I am sure you will have a lot of questions and concerns that will require a more knowledgeable person than me to fill in the blanks, so I am going to turn over the rest of the tour to someone that has all the answers. God is waiting to lead you on so let him know when you are ready. It’s been my pleasure sharing this with you.
God’s Speed!
Reference: VFW MO Post 5517- Agent Orange
The Official Web-Site for Agent Orange www.agent-orange
www.lewispublishing.com/orange.htm
VFW Mo Post 5517-Agent Orange
Core Concepts in Health
The desk of Tommy Cook (Vietnam Veteran – US Army Fourth Infantry Division - 1969- 1970 and Survivor of Agent Orange Exposure).
Leaning on Hope
Sometimes leaning on hope is all we’ve got.
Our government officials have sold us down the river and it seems all we can do is accept the cards we are dealt with no recourse other than to “Hope for better days”. Constantly I am shaking my head as if trying to wake up from this nightmare rolling around in my noggin and then I pickup “The New York Times” to discover that we are facing the prospect of a “Trillion Dollar Deficit”. “Nah, that has to be a misprint”, as I shake my head again and again trying desperately to snap out of it. I look up from the
paper to gaze outside thinking I must have nodded off for a moment because I was fairly sure I actually made it to Starbucks and ordered my favorite eye-opener latte. Maybe that’s it – I gently clutch my drink, raise it to my waiting lips – take a sip and wait for a moment as it takes effect. Then I give it another try - eyes slowly focusing on the front page and bam! There it was on the top right of the front page. So I go to the left----What the hell am I saying! --- I look to the opposite side of the front page and after engaging in the cheery news it had to offer I roll my eyes ever so slowly, as to try and sneak up on
it, to the right---easy does it , I am almost there---Keep your wits about you Cook – almost there—“OH My God! –It’s Still There!” You have got to be kidding me! I read on and discover that this could go on for years to come. “Years to come” he says! From our President elect ( by mindless drones) this sounds like “Change is a comin!”. That’s it – I have had enough crap for the day. Now I know why I don’t read the paper anymore. The excitement is just too much to take. Normally I walk over to the rack and scan the highlights for anything positive while waiting for my tranquilizing, narcotic “Grande – Toffee Nut Latte, nonfat, no foam , no cream, half decaf, 200° taste of heaven to be served. Today I just had to focus on the story below the heading and immerse my simple mind in that piece of garbage. I could have stopped but Noooooo! I had to read on – What an idiot. Trillion Dollars, how manyO’s is that anyway? After another sip of heaven I started blabbing under my breath, as daggers were shooting from my eyes, “ I’m mad as Hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!” Folks, this is what revolutions are made of. Total distain for the government as the rug is jerked out from under us. When are the rest of you going to get mad enough to join in and take back that which is ours? We have way too many sheep following the leader and it sickens me. Wakeup people, your elected officials are crooks – charlatans – megalomanias , looking out for Numeral Uno. They could care less what happens to you. Think I’m exaggerating? These worthless scum decided they were doing such a great job of screwing us that they gave themselves a raise. It’s just too much!
If I don’t do something now I hope someone kicks the poot out of me. Yes! Your heard me and I deserve it – why wouldn’t I? Anyone stupid enough to sit by and let these worthless and I do mean worthless, arrogant SOB’s throw S_ _ _ at us hoping it sticks without a sound trashing needs to be kicked to the curb. There are many words that could be used to describe my lack of participation – what’s the word I’m looking for – come on, you can do it - There it is “Dumb S _ _ _! There’s that word again, sorry but it is so apropos for the occasion. I guess I could have use excrement but------it doesn’t carry the same weight. (Sorry) But you know what? This is totally out of character for me. Usually when someone spits in my eye while laughing their a _ _ off in the process it doesn’t take but a split second till he is grabbing himself while desperately trying to find a smidgen of oxygen to resuscitate himself back to normalcy. I have the utmost disgust for bullies and regardless of the predicament I found myself in it never stopped me from jumping in the fight. But here I am cowering down like some little whip that has
just had his lunch money taken from him. I don’t know what happened to me - maybe it was the drugs someone slip in my canteen in Nam and it took effect slowly as the years went by - or it could be all the years of marriage (just kidding dear) and it could be someone has spiked my drink with wussy pills. I really don’t know but it is evident something has stripped me of “the fight in the dog.” Excuse me, I’ve got to check something out – yep, the boys are still there. Thank God! Maybe I’m just numb down there for all the years I let this mysterious political machine syndrome give me the ole kick in the groin.
Bullies beware for the Big Dog is awake and barking and He is hungry for revenge!
Our government officials have sold us down the river and it seems all we can do is accept the cards we are dealt with no recourse other than to “Hope for better days”. Constantly I am shaking my head as if trying to wake up from this nightmare rolling around in my noggin and then I pickup “The New York Times” to discover that we are facing the prospect of a “Trillion Dollar Deficit”. “Nah, that has to be a misprint”, as I shake my head again and again trying desperately to snap out of it. I look up from the
paper to gaze outside thinking I must have nodded off for a moment because I was fairly sure I actually made it to Starbucks and ordered my favorite eye-opener latte. Maybe that’s it – I gently clutch my drink, raise it to my waiting lips – take a sip and wait for a moment as it takes effect. Then I give it another try - eyes slowly focusing on the front page and bam! There it was on the top right of the front page. So I go to the left----What the hell am I saying! --- I look to the opposite side of the front page and after engaging in the cheery news it had to offer I roll my eyes ever so slowly, as to try and sneak up on
it, to the right---easy does it , I am almost there---Keep your wits about you Cook – almost there—“OH My God! –It’s Still There!” You have got to be kidding me! I read on and discover that this could go on for years to come. “Years to come” he says! From our President elect ( by mindless drones) this sounds like “Change is a comin!”. That’s it – I have had enough crap for the day. Now I know why I don’t read the paper anymore. The excitement is just too much to take. Normally I walk over to the rack and scan the highlights for anything positive while waiting for my tranquilizing, narcotic “Grande – Toffee Nut Latte, nonfat, no foam , no cream, half decaf, 200° taste of heaven to be served. Today I just had to focus on the story below the heading and immerse my simple mind in that piece of garbage. I could have stopped but Noooooo! I had to read on – What an idiot. Trillion Dollars, how manyO’s is that anyway? After another sip of heaven I started blabbing under my breath, as daggers were shooting from my eyes, “ I’m mad as Hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!” Folks, this is what revolutions are made of. Total distain for the government as the rug is jerked out from under us. When are the rest of you going to get mad enough to join in and take back that which is ours? We have way too many sheep following the leader and it sickens me. Wakeup people, your elected officials are crooks – charlatans – megalomanias , looking out for Numeral Uno. They could care less what happens to you. Think I’m exaggerating? These worthless scum decided they were doing such a great job of screwing us that they gave themselves a raise. It’s just too much!
If I don’t do something now I hope someone kicks the poot out of me. Yes! Your heard me and I deserve it – why wouldn’t I? Anyone stupid enough to sit by and let these worthless and I do mean worthless, arrogant SOB’s throw S_ _ _ at us hoping it sticks without a sound trashing needs to be kicked to the curb. There are many words that could be used to describe my lack of participation – what’s the word I’m looking for – come on, you can do it - There it is “Dumb S _ _ _! There’s that word again, sorry but it is so apropos for the occasion. I guess I could have use excrement but------it doesn’t carry the same weight. (Sorry) But you know what? This is totally out of character for me. Usually when someone spits in my eye while laughing their a _ _ off in the process it doesn’t take but a split second till he is grabbing himself while desperately trying to find a smidgen of oxygen to resuscitate himself back to normalcy. I have the utmost disgust for bullies and regardless of the predicament I found myself in it never stopped me from jumping in the fight. But here I am cowering down like some little whip that has
just had his lunch money taken from him. I don’t know what happened to me - maybe it was the drugs someone slip in my canteen in Nam and it took effect slowly as the years went by - or it could be all the years of marriage (just kidding dear) and it could be someone has spiked my drink with wussy pills. I really don’t know but it is evident something has stripped me of “the fight in the dog.” Excuse me, I’ve got to check something out – yep, the boys are still there. Thank God! Maybe I’m just numb down there for all the years I let this mysterious political machine syndrome give me the ole kick in the groin.
Bullies beware for the Big Dog is awake and barking and He is hungry for revenge!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Coulter’s ‘View’ Gets Cold Reception
The claws came out at “The View” Monday morning. The always controversial Ann Coulter co-hosted the roundtable discussion to promote her new book, “Guilty”, but if she thought she’d get a fair and balanced reception, she was wrong. Coulter’s statements about single mothers ignited the feud between the ladies, 4 of which are single mothers. After questioning Coulter about her research on statistics that point to single-motherhood and the absence of fathers being a risk for criminal behavior in children, Sherri Shephard accused Coulter of not having “any compassion”. The debate reached a boiling point when Coulter accused Barbara Walters of reading passages of “Guily” on air, like she was reading Mein Kampf. Shephard jumped to Walter’s defense saying, “I don’t appreciate the way you’re talking to her.” When Coulter tried to defend her statements, she was drowned out by the ladies’ constant interruptions, rants, and audience applause.
It’s just another example of the liberal media censoring conservatives. It’s no secret that Ann Coulter is wildly provocative and controversial, but it’s her political persuasion that evokes anger. Radical left-wing guests have appeared on “The View” to discuss their controversial opinions, but they are always greeted warmly and allowed to speak without interruption or accusations. Clearly, the same cannot be said for the right-wing guests. I guess the show only welcomes one “view”.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
My Letter to the World
Dear World,
The purpose of this letter is to officially inform you of my resignation as a Reasonable Human Being, effective immediately. Evidence will show that I gave it the ’ole college try, but the position is too difficult to maintain given recent developments. When you mercilessly made fun of our President, George Bush, for is inability to speak intelligently, I said nothing. To tell the truth, I laughed along with you because…well…it was pretty damn funny. When you (especially France) turned your haughty, crooked noses up at America, I let it go. After all, everyone knows the French are bat-shit crazy. I even silently endured Rosie O’Donnell’s rants about 9/11 being an inside job. No one takes her seriously, anyway. But when political “jihad” was declared against conservatives, and no one said a peep, I realized that my position as a Reasonable Human Being would be among the first to be made redundant, so I’m quitting before you can fire me.
I admit that this has been a satisfying position. I do love a good challenge and I had plenty during my career. It was truly difficult to root for Hillary Clinton in the Democratic Primaries this past year, but after I saw the 100 whopping days of experience her opponent had, I managed to croak out, “You go, girl.” I found myself in actual pain watching Bill Clinton try to define sex, while simultaneously explaining to my grandparents that oral sex was indeed not “when you talk about it.” What can I say-I’m an excellent multi-tasker with a strong stomach. And you better believe it took all my strength to give a damn about terrorists being mistreated in prison after you expressed such concern and outrage. A consummate professional, I stayed reasonable through all of this and more. Unfortunately, the problem of my salary reared it’s ugly head. The day I sat down and tried to figure out how to make money without actually earning it, I knew I would have to find employment elsewhere. I know, I know…welfare was the first thing that came to my mind, too. But apparently you have to be too lazy to blink in order to qualify.
Unfortunately, in our current economy, finding a new job is a bit of a problem. I had no idea that Reasonable Human Beings are not in-demand at all, and the jobs we do qualify for are overworked and underpaid positions like teachers, secretaries, police officers, and social workers. I concentrated on jobs that offer respect, admiration, and 6-figures, but all I found was a high-demand for celebrities. Since I can’t sing or act, I tried swearing off underwear, only wore short skirts, and exited cars spread-eagle, but all I did was frighten the patrons of Starbucks. My standards would obviously have to be lowered during this time of recession. So I crossed respect and admiration off my list and focused on the money. I’d have to demoralize myself, but that Elliott Spitzer call-girl raked in some serious cash and even became somewhat of a celebrity. So I grabbed my hooker heels and my rape whistle, and I hit the street. Unfortunately, my first customer was one of those womanizing Kennedy’s. Was it Ed? Fred? Ned? Whatever his name, I took one look at him and realized that my choices were poverty or 15 minutes with him. Malnutrition looked better than this guy, so I got the hell out of there. But I did get an idea from the Senator. I could work in Congress! I would have to be soul-crushingly evil, but the pay was great! Plus the job transition would be easy. After all, screwing people for money is the same no matter what you call it. However, once my constituents discovered that I had once been a Reasonable Human Being, they ran me out of town.
After striking out in the workforce, I realized I would have to fight fire with fire. You seem to be earning a comfortable living by making unreasonable demands and suing, fighting, lying, or crying when they are not met. Since the position of Reasonable Human Being is no longer an option for your company, I’d like to submit my application for Professional Fed-Up Bitch. The following is a list of demands I have, just to demonstrate my qualifications:
1. I expect a reputable, national newspaper on my desk every morning that is written and published by someone that doesn’t have their head up Obama’s ass.
2. I will no longer accept the term “White” to describe my ethnicity. Since Scottish-Irish-English-Swiss American is too long, I prefer the term “ White-Hot-Mama”. Anything other than this will be interpreted as disrespect and I will be forced hold a press conference to announce to the world how racist you are.
3. I demand all illegal aliens that choose not to bother themselves with those pesky citizenship papers be deported to their countries until they are willing to cross the border legally, pay taxes, and learn English.
4. I demand that Michael Moore, Jane Fonda, Sean Penn, and all the other radical liberals protesting the war and defending our enemies, be escorted to downtown Afganistan and left there.
5. I double-dog-dare Barack Obama to recite passages from the Koran.
6. Since atheism is an official religion, based on the argument that a religion is defined as any belief, I demand anti-atheism be declared a religion. Since I also have a right to my own federal holiday, I demand June 1st be declared “Annoy An Atheist Day.”
7. Since global warming is a crucial concern, and Al Gore makes me feel like I’ve drowned a kitten every time I drive my non-alternative-fuel car, I demand he use his considerable wealth to buy a hybrid car for every American. Oh what the hell…illegal aliens are people too and deserve whatever Americans have. Buy them one too.
8. I would like all of the tax money I paid that went toward the bailout, abortions, paying for illegial aliens, housing prisoners convicted of crimes against children, and all the other things I am passionately against, be refunded to me immediately. I will expect an invoice showing where my money is going from this point forward. If it’s not to my liking, I will be using my money for the issues important to me.
9. I would like to see Barney Frank sing “I’m a Little Teacup.”
10. I demand that the jerks who begged for billions of bailout money, then took their employees on vacation at a posh resort be imprisoned for life.
11. Any rapper wishing to sing about “bitches and hoes” must first be able to spell these words, and then must submit to castration before the album is released.
12. All aide being given to foreign countries will immediately be terminated. As we are so often reminded, they hate us. Tell them to ask France or China for help.
13. If we’re going to allow abortions, then we’re bringing eugenics back. The weak, stupid, and insane will be sterilized and kept from breeding. This should almost end abortion.
Finally, I will leave you with a parting thought to sum up my position as a Reasonable Human Being: Take this job and shove it! I’m looking forward to bringing all the passion and dedication that I gave my former job, to my new role as Professional Fed-Up Bitch. God help you.
Good luck,
Holly
Go ahead and write your own letter to the world!
The purpose of this letter is to officially inform you of my resignation as a Reasonable Human Being, effective immediately. Evidence will show that I gave it the ’ole college try, but the position is too difficult to maintain given recent developments. When you mercilessly made fun of our President, George Bush, for is inability to speak intelligently, I said nothing. To tell the truth, I laughed along with you because…well…it was pretty damn funny. When you (especially France) turned your haughty, crooked noses up at America, I let it go. After all, everyone knows the French are bat-shit crazy. I even silently endured Rosie O’Donnell’s rants about 9/11 being an inside job. No one takes her seriously, anyway. But when political “jihad” was declared against conservatives, and no one said a peep, I realized that my position as a Reasonable Human Being would be among the first to be made redundant, so I’m quitting before you can fire me.
I admit that this has been a satisfying position. I do love a good challenge and I had plenty during my career. It was truly difficult to root for Hillary Clinton in the Democratic Primaries this past year, but after I saw the 100 whopping days of experience her opponent had, I managed to croak out, “You go, girl.” I found myself in actual pain watching Bill Clinton try to define sex, while simultaneously explaining to my grandparents that oral sex was indeed not “when you talk about it.” What can I say-I’m an excellent multi-tasker with a strong stomach. And you better believe it took all my strength to give a damn about terrorists being mistreated in prison after you expressed such concern and outrage. A consummate professional, I stayed reasonable through all of this and more. Unfortunately, the problem of my salary reared it’s ugly head. The day I sat down and tried to figure out how to make money without actually earning it, I knew I would have to find employment elsewhere. I know, I know…welfare was the first thing that came to my mind, too. But apparently you have to be too lazy to blink in order to qualify.
Unfortunately, in our current economy, finding a new job is a bit of a problem. I had no idea that Reasonable Human Beings are not in-demand at all, and the jobs we do qualify for are overworked and underpaid positions like teachers, secretaries, police officers, and social workers. I concentrated on jobs that offer respect, admiration, and 6-figures, but all I found was a high-demand for celebrities. Since I can’t sing or act, I tried swearing off underwear, only wore short skirts, and exited cars spread-eagle, but all I did was frighten the patrons of Starbucks. My standards would obviously have to be lowered during this time of recession. So I crossed respect and admiration off my list and focused on the money. I’d have to demoralize myself, but that Elliott Spitzer call-girl raked in some serious cash and even became somewhat of a celebrity. So I grabbed my hooker heels and my rape whistle, and I hit the street. Unfortunately, my first customer was one of those womanizing Kennedy’s. Was it Ed? Fred? Ned? Whatever his name, I took one look at him and realized that my choices were poverty or 15 minutes with him. Malnutrition looked better than this guy, so I got the hell out of there. But I did get an idea from the Senator. I could work in Congress! I would have to be soul-crushingly evil, but the pay was great! Plus the job transition would be easy. After all, screwing people for money is the same no matter what you call it. However, once my constituents discovered that I had once been a Reasonable Human Being, they ran me out of town.
After striking out in the workforce, I realized I would have to fight fire with fire. You seem to be earning a comfortable living by making unreasonable demands and suing, fighting, lying, or crying when they are not met. Since the position of Reasonable Human Being is no longer an option for your company, I’d like to submit my application for Professional Fed-Up Bitch. The following is a list of demands I have, just to demonstrate my qualifications:
1. I expect a reputable, national newspaper on my desk every morning that is written and published by someone that doesn’t have their head up Obama’s ass.
2. I will no longer accept the term “White” to describe my ethnicity. Since Scottish-Irish-English-Swiss American is too long, I prefer the term “ White-Hot-Mama”. Anything other than this will be interpreted as disrespect and I will be forced hold a press conference to announce to the world how racist you are.
3. I demand all illegal aliens that choose not to bother themselves with those pesky citizenship papers be deported to their countries until they are willing to cross the border legally, pay taxes, and learn English.
4. I demand that Michael Moore, Jane Fonda, Sean Penn, and all the other radical liberals protesting the war and defending our enemies, be escorted to downtown Afganistan and left there.
5. I double-dog-dare Barack Obama to recite passages from the Koran.
6. Since atheism is an official religion, based on the argument that a religion is defined as any belief, I demand anti-atheism be declared a religion. Since I also have a right to my own federal holiday, I demand June 1st be declared “Annoy An Atheist Day.”
7. Since global warming is a crucial concern, and Al Gore makes me feel like I’ve drowned a kitten every time I drive my non-alternative-fuel car, I demand he use his considerable wealth to buy a hybrid car for every American. Oh what the hell…illegal aliens are people too and deserve whatever Americans have. Buy them one too.
8. I would like all of the tax money I paid that went toward the bailout, abortions, paying for illegial aliens, housing prisoners convicted of crimes against children, and all the other things I am passionately against, be refunded to me immediately. I will expect an invoice showing where my money is going from this point forward. If it’s not to my liking, I will be using my money for the issues important to me.
9. I would like to see Barney Frank sing “I’m a Little Teacup.”
10. I demand that the jerks who begged for billions of bailout money, then took their employees on vacation at a posh resort be imprisoned for life.
11. Any rapper wishing to sing about “bitches and hoes” must first be able to spell these words, and then must submit to castration before the album is released.
12. All aide being given to foreign countries will immediately be terminated. As we are so often reminded, they hate us. Tell them to ask France or China for help.
13. If we’re going to allow abortions, then we’re bringing eugenics back. The weak, stupid, and insane will be sterilized and kept from breeding. This should almost end abortion.
Finally, I will leave you with a parting thought to sum up my position as a Reasonable Human Being: Take this job and shove it! I’m looking forward to bringing all the passion and dedication that I gave my former job, to my new role as Professional Fed-Up Bitch. God help you.
Good luck,
Holly
Go ahead and write your own letter to the world!
Forget The Experts: What do YOU Think?
I’m sick and tired of reading books written by “experts”. Everywhere I turn, there’s some doctor, organization, special interest group, or guru promoting their opinions, theories, views, or experiences, and it’s becoming annoying. Walking down the aisle of my local Barnes &Noble, I’m bombarded with bold headlines proclaiming to cure my low self-esteem, take my weight off for good, teach me how to handle my kids, and how to manage my money. I’ve even foolishly bought into the hype and read the books. I followed the advice diligently. I dieted myself into a near-coma on the Zone. I seriously considered sprinting towards the white light as long as God had a Snickers. When my son yelled, “I’m taking you down, little girl!” and body-slammed his little sister, I shunned the yelling that experts so vehemently condemn and instead tried reasoning with him. I soon learned that there is no reasoning with a 4 year-old who thinks he’s The Rock. I didn’t even raise my voice when I asked my mother to please refrain from teaching my child to say, “You’re full of shit, mommy.” I’ve been brainwashed into believing that confrontation is unhealthy, and if you respond to “toxic” people calmly, they’ll suddenly turn into rational peacemakers. I didn’t even bother with financial guru’s like Suze Orman. I’m so broke I don’t have “options.” My financial options are: Pay it or don’t pay it.
Clearly, all the PH.D.-degree wielding experts are the ones full of shit. They can’t agree on anything. As soon as something becomes good for you, someone else tells you it’s not. It dawned on me one day that we don’t need advice from experts. We need advice from people like us. We need people in the trenches, struggling like us, to offer support or words of wisdom. I’ve learned that during the hardest times in my life, just listening to my friends and family explain how they overcame the obstacles in their life helped me overcome mine. During this past presidential election, my belief was reinforced. Joe the Plummer became a celebrity just by asking a simple question. I’d heard hundreds of political analysts ponder the same redistribution of wealth issue, but when a regular, everyday American brought it up, the entire country started listening. The fact is that the plethora of opinions bounced around on every major news network become so jumbled, that people stop listening. We don’t care what Anderson Cooper, Bill O’Reilly, or Chris Matthews thinks. We want to know what America thinks.
That’s where you come in. This is your chance to speak up and be heard. Let’s drown out the cacophony of expert opinions, and let the world know what we think and feel. Our goal is to give America a collective voice about everything from life to food, from parenting to politics. We want to hear your views on the issues you feel passionately about. We want to hear your advice, stories, philosophy, and beliefs. You can submit a letter on any topic of your choosing, or ask any question you need answered. Eventually, we want to compile a book with your letters. It will be a book written by everyday people, for everyday people. Of course, you may send letters and post comments anonymously, or express yourself privately, without being included in a book. We mainly just want to hear you’re thoughts, opinions, and stories. We will only publish submissions with your consent. We welcome all views, no matter your religion, political affiliation, etc. I am conservative and have lots of opinions, which I will express rather passionately at times. Don’t let this discourage those with differing views. I’m open-minded and want to hear every perspective, whether I agree with it or not. So, let this be a place to express yourself and give yourself a voice, just as loud and important as anyone else’s. This your, time. Let the world know what you think.
Clearly, all the PH.D.-degree wielding experts are the ones full of shit. They can’t agree on anything. As soon as something becomes good for you, someone else tells you it’s not. It dawned on me one day that we don’t need advice from experts. We need advice from people like us. We need people in the trenches, struggling like us, to offer support or words of wisdom. I’ve learned that during the hardest times in my life, just listening to my friends and family explain how they overcame the obstacles in their life helped me overcome mine. During this past presidential election, my belief was reinforced. Joe the Plummer became a celebrity just by asking a simple question. I’d heard hundreds of political analysts ponder the same redistribution of wealth issue, but when a regular, everyday American brought it up, the entire country started listening. The fact is that the plethora of opinions bounced around on every major news network become so jumbled, that people stop listening. We don’t care what Anderson Cooper, Bill O’Reilly, or Chris Matthews thinks. We want to know what America thinks.
That’s where you come in. This is your chance to speak up and be heard. Let’s drown out the cacophony of expert opinions, and let the world know what we think and feel. Our goal is to give America a collective voice about everything from life to food, from parenting to politics. We want to hear your views on the issues you feel passionately about. We want to hear your advice, stories, philosophy, and beliefs. You can submit a letter on any topic of your choosing, or ask any question you need answered. Eventually, we want to compile a book with your letters. It will be a book written by everyday people, for everyday people. Of course, you may send letters and post comments anonymously, or express yourself privately, without being included in a book. We mainly just want to hear you’re thoughts, opinions, and stories. We will only publish submissions with your consent. We welcome all views, no matter your religion, political affiliation, etc. I am conservative and have lots of opinions, which I will express rather passionately at times. Don’t let this discourage those with differing views. I’m open-minded and want to hear every perspective, whether I agree with it or not. So, let this be a place to express yourself and give yourself a voice, just as loud and important as anyone else’s. This your, time. Let the world know what you think.
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